Life with only seeing one child 50% of the time

I wasn't sure whether I would talk about my personal life or not, but I decided that it was a good time to do it.  My heart is just so broken.  We only get to have our son 50% of the week, because he goes to my ex's mom's house the other half of the week!  Yes, I said his mom's house.  He doesn't have his own place, and he told me that he doesn't plan on it, either.  Tell me how that makes sense.  I hurt every day that our son is gone, and it is just getting worse as time goes on.  My husband has been in Konnar's life since he was a baby, so, YES, he is his daddy!  Jene is an amazing Father, and he has so much fun with our children.  He wrestles with them when I can't, and teaches them about anything and everything.  Although, my husband and I did just get our house, so we are going to take one more legal step once we are moved in.  How is it that my ex is getting so much from the legal system, but I get completely shafted by an attorney that didn't care!!!  She got over 3k dollars, and we only get to see our son about 30% of the year, after you calculate the holiday schedule, which is bogus!  Please, if there is any one out there that can help me, HELP!  This situation is so heart wrenching and frustrating.  I'm gonna go with what my husband says and just stay strong, until we get into our new home.  Then we have to find an Attorney ad Litem for our son.  We both want his other dad to be a part of his life, but only for a healthy amount of time.  Every time we pick Konnar up, he has learned an unhealthy habit.  I work so hard to make sure my kids are taken care of physically, mentally, dentally, and emotionally.  We both work hard to be responsible adults and teach our children good things, and we will never stop.  No matter what happens, I will keep praying that we protect our children from harm and make sure that they don't get hurt.  I think about how Konnar feels every day, and what he feels.  I know he loves all of us, but what am I suppose to do?  Just pray...God has always provided for us, and I just pray that He will continue to be with Konnar when he is not with us.  I know that I probably sound selfish, but no matter how hard I try, my ex will NOT grow up!  He refuses to act like an adult, nor does he ever make a decision without his mother.  It is endlessly frustrating and heart breaking.  As you all might have guessed, I had to surrender Konnar today.  Yes, that was the onset for this blog.  Thank you all for reading....

Heartfelt Regards,

Mommy Dearest
xxxxx